Q: I will soon be married again (second time around), and while I'm confident of my new mate, I am a bit worried about taking my investments into a second marriage. What do you think of prenuptial agreements to address such concerns?

A: Men and women who enter marriage with significant assets sometimes are concerned about protecting those assets for themselves and other family members, especially if they have children from a prior relationship. Enter the prenuptial agreement, a legal document that spells out who gets what in the event of divorce. Think of it as planning a financial divorce before you even get married.

While it may seem painfully obvious, you'd be surprised by the number of people who overlook the fact that prenuptial agreements are an extremely sensitive topic to bring up. If you're considering broaching the subject, I can't stress enough the importance of the timing and approach. I've witnessed some engagements broken off as a result of proposed prenuptial agreements. That said, many couples successfully navigate these tricky waters.

The first common-sense piece of advice I can offer you on this topic is to not spring the discussion or proposed agreement on your partner at the 11th hour. In fact, a prenuptial signed too close to a wedding (e.g., the day before the wedding) may not stand up to legal challenges if the argument can be made that the other spouse felt pressured into signing for fear of the wedding being called off at the last minute.

Bring up the topic as many months in advance of the proposed wedding date as possible. In fact, I wouldn't do any wedding planning at all until the topic is discussed and harmoniously resolved. Otherwise, you run the risk of having to call off a wedding should the agreement provoke problems. Schedule some time to discuss the subject. Don't just bring it up out of the blue or, even worse, during a time of conflict. Each party should have their own attorney for review and counsel concerning the legal agreement. Last but not least, be sure to fully disclose your financial situation so that the agreement holds up legally.

Ultimately, the best reasons to have a prenuptial agreement are being realistic and to simply understand that people change. Just because your fiance(e) verbally states that he or she doesn't want any of your money (or home equity, or portfolio, etc.) as you stare lovingly into each other's eyes on a warm moonlit evening two months before your marriage, doesn't guarantee that's how he or she will behave in a lawyer's office in the thick of an emotional divorce. If you'd like to learn more about prenuptial agreements before meeting with an attorney, I recommend the book "Prenuptial Agreements: How to Write a Fair & Lasting Contract" (Nolo Press) by Katherine Stoner, attorney-mediator, and Shae Irving, J.D.